“Is bad spending habit hereditary?”
I received this question from one of our followers so I did a self-assessment of my previous and current spending habits.
I knew my parents were very frugal as far as I could remember but I still asked myself, “did I inherit any bad spending habit from my parents?”
How My Parents Struggled Financially
I was often sick when I was a child. Most of the time, my father’s savings/emergency fund were always used up as they always had to bring me to a doctor. Every prescription would automatically mean additional expenses.
Couple that with my school fees and other needs that my parents found really difficult to pay for. So spending above our means was not in my parents’ vocabulary.
But the worst happened when my father lost his executive job in the government after the People Power Revolution. My father was always proud to tell us that he never accepted bribes nor gifts. That never crossed his mind at all.
While the rest of his officemates and staff drove cars and lived in big houses, my father was riding jeepneys and tricycles and rented an apartment shared with other relatives.
He used his retirement pay to start a couple of businesses that both failed. His office furniture distribution business was a flop after partnering with a bogus who just disappeared in thin air together with my father’s money. The second business was literally destroyed by a typhoon: a fishpen in Taal Lake.
So there really was no way my parents would have spent beyond our means because there was no money at all. We lived a very simple life. Very simple that our house was just the same size as a regular bedroom.
And because of this experience, we learned how to be content. Most of the times we would have one tuyo (or hawot in Batangas) and one cup of steamed rice each per meal. Sometimes we had to settle for talbos ng kamote or malunggay for lunch or dinner.
We’ve Borrowed and Borrowed Money
Because we didn’t have a steady source of income and we had no more savings, my parents had to borrow money from relatives and friends again and again to pay the bills. And this was the main reason why my mother had to leave the country to work in Qatar for two “long” years. I was 10 years old and my younger brother was only 7 then.
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But in spite of our frugality, the money being sent by our mother was not just enough for our needs. Our parents kept on borrowing money because we lacked other sources of income. The constant borrowing kept on going until my father got really sick.
So even if I believe I did not inherit any bad spending habit from my parents, it was poverty, lack of proper financial education, and the most difficult moments in life that eventually developed my small wallet mentality.
I inherited the utang culture.
Overcoming the Hereditary Curse
Even though my parents lived frugally and taught us not to buy things (and food!) that were not necessary, I was always praying that we would one day be able to settle all our debts and be financially free again.
Debts can be addicting and destructive at the same time. You lose trust of the people who believed in you. You become a talk of the town for not paying money you owe. People curse you for being in debt.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, I’m still looking for the people I owed money before to apologize for not being able to pay them back immediately back then. But I hope to meet them up again soon and restore everything, our friendships the most.
Bad money behaviors can be hereditary. But you need not point fingers at your parents or put all the blame on them for all the hardships in life. It’s all a matter of decision to appreciate your net worth and your true value as a person.
Use your core gifts to generate money and become responsible financially. Learn from successful people who went through the same situation as yours and be inspired by their stories today.
See the big picture of your problems. Mend your past and focus on your financial goals. Your financial freedom depends on you, your behavior, your plans, and your determination to succeed. It’s nobody else’s responsibility.
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Its one of those articles wherein the reader can feel the author’s thoughts and what a lot of us had gone through. Point is, there is always hope. Bless you sir for this eye opening article.
Thank you very much Cherryl. You are right. There is power in hope.
nice one. actually I remembered talking to someone before and I said that like disease. bad financial habit is also hereditary… Now I know I said the right thing after reading your article…
It’s good that you made it clear that it’s not hereditary in terms of genes where we have no control but hereditary in terms of influence. We must be careful what kind of example are we to our children, we don’t want them to inherit bad behaviour. Children’s behaviour are often reflections of how they perceive their parents.