Single couples wanting to get married soon have so many plans laid down on their tables and fantasies swirling inside and around their minds.
Whether they acknowledge it or not, their plans are limited only to where to get married, when to get married, how much to get married, what to wear during the wedding, what to eat before and during the wedding, where to go and enjoy after the wedding.
It’s a rarity to encounter couples talking about paying their respective debts before getting married. It’s even very unlikely that they will ask their fiances/fiancees how much their debts are and how is he/she going to repay them before/after the wedding. Very liberating. I hope I’m wrong.
Are You Really Ready, Brides and Grooms-To-Be?
Try asking your partner whether they have outstanding loans, mortgages, maxed out credit cards, or on the verge of getting evicted from their rented homes.
If they answered yes to any of those issues, consider postponing the wedding. Unless. Unless. Unless. You are plainly, tremendously, mushingly, madly, deeply, stupidly in love.
On the other hand, test yourself and ask the same question as well. Are you also in serious debt? If you were able to zero out all your debts in the past, have you grown as a financially-healed person by not being tempted to borrow anymore?
How is spending habit these days? Do you still pull out your credit card and eat out or shop to the max whenever boyfriend/girlfriend cools it off with you?
Do You Promise To Be Financially Responsible? (Correct Answer: “I Do”)
It’s never easy for anyone to carry that guilt of being indebted into a marriage. Most people would likely be ashamed that they are in such condition. They need help.
When your soon-to-be-better-half promises you and himself/herself to take responsibility and do the best to settle past borrowings, then rest-assured that he/she really loves you and will hopefully avoid being in the same situation as he/she was before. Accountability is a character worth looking at for your partner. Evaluate your relationship if you don’t see any sense of responsibility from your partner.
And then take a look inside your heart and brain again. Can you accept your partner and his/her debt, for better or for worse, till debt do your part?
If you can promise to be with your partner no matter what happens and you decide to accept that person into your life forever, do your best to be gentle with him/her when correcting his/her bad spending habits and give all the support your partner needs.
It’s never going to be easy. But this time around, the only person that your future spouse can trust is YOU.
(How you wish you’d be marrying an entrepreneur or an investor instead. Hehe. Kidding.)
Be a healer of your better half by helping him/her overcome his/her past debt.
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P.S. 2. I’m inviting you to attend our entrep webinar called “Negosyo 101 for OFW’s: A Crash Course on Entrepreneurship and Business Development“ on September 28, 2013 at 3PM (Philippine time) with our ever reliable personal finance blogging celebrity Fitz Villafuerte. This online seminar is cool and fits (Fitz!) those who are based abroad and either wanting to grab business ideas or just expand/grow their existing ventures. You can get more details of the webinar by clicking here.