When my wife and I got married five years ago, money was a subject that we didn’t talk too much about. We felt it’s just too stressful, annoying and would only make our day gloomy.
And then when we learned that we’re finally having our first baby we decided that it’s necessary that we always talk about money and how we should effectively manage it as we start building our family.
It was quite difficult at first because our decisions have to be aligned with our respective needs and expectations. There were conflicting views and admit it or not, newly-weds and even couples who have been together far too long will still have to deal with their respective parents (and in-laws) with regards to money.
Family Finance Talk with OFW Couples
In a recently-held family finance talk for a small group of OFW couples in Saudi Arabia, we were able to point out several issues about money and worldly items with our significant others as equaled to love and affection, security for the future, control or dependency, independence and stability, and many others.
Many agreed that money should be the start of accomplishing the family-building goals and not a reason to fight over with.
Thanks to my long time friend and volunteer speaker Nato Lacsamana for giving a profound talk about stewardship.
How To Stop The Fighting Over Money?
1) Partners should recognize each others’ financial strengths and capabilities. While most of the times couples have different values and financial habits, these can be addressed if each of them assess their own ideas and outlook about money. Couples need to have heart-to-heart talks about their individual needs and expectations and then come up with a solution for the good of the family.
2) Most of the time it is the husband who works and earns for the family. Although the women have started to emerge and become breadwinners while more male partners are becoming housebands. In any case, either one of the couple should agree that all money-making decisions must be done jointly and that it makes no sense for the earning partner to dictate and take control of everything, including their relationship.
3) Sometimes a mother wants her kid to be schooled in a high posh university in town while the father insists that his child will be better off studying in a public school. Parents have to discuss whether the argument is about the tuition fees or the values that their child will accumulate regardless of school. Find a common ground to avoid further arguments about education.
4) Debts are one of the most fought over issue within a family. Priorities should be discussed as to whether it is best to save money first before paying debts from salaries or save money and pay debts at the same time. You have to agree.
(Save and grow your money while you are still an OFW!!! CLICK here!)
5) Never ever borrow money from relatives, friends, parents, and in-laws without letting the other partner know first. If one doesn’t want to, then talk about alternatives on how to solve any current financial issue.
6) Couples with money problems should pray together before making any decision. Remember how powerful a prayer can do if a couple “agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 18:19
Money is indeed one of the hardest things for couples to talk about but it is also one of the most important.
I will leave you with a 3-minute video from LearnVest‘s Alexa von Tobel whom I’ve got to chat with months ago to mentor me about family finance. Jennifer Roberts of Chase Card Services sits down with Alexa in this video to talk about the financial conversations and money talk that all couples need to handle with minimal awkwardness and maximal success.
Are you planning to start a family soon? Do you have issues with your partner when it comes to talking about money?
Share this video to them by clicking the “Like” button below to help them talk it out with you.
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very true…
One major reason of couple break-up is financial in nature. Couples really need to talk about finances. Majority think talking about finance is taboo… I can attest to that as I have met people who often avoid financial topics… And I feel the reason is PRIDE… They feel hurt inside because the truth hurts
I think churches, media, government, and schools have roles in instilling the importance of money talk among couples/parents. It’s inevitable.
In my opinion, couples-to-be should not only be oriented about reproductive health but most of all financial health. If the couple is aware of the financial cost of having many children, then they will be able to plan their reproductive health as well….
Galing nito bro. A must read for all couples especially those who are already planning to marry and sa mga newly weds na rin. Pero puede pa rin dun sa mga matagal na, it’s never too late. I know lots of stories about couples thinking the same thing at first, i mean avoiding money talks to avoid conflicts, but in the end it cost them their relationship. It is indeed one thing we shouldn’t avoid but rather face it as couple. As partners, a husband and a wife are stewards of God’s blessings and are expected to do good with it.
Great advice and very true!
My wife and I also talk about financial goals, our saving, and our expenses. Thankfully, we’ve never fought about many, ever.
You know guys, sa totoo lang, mahirap na topic yan. Even for me and my wife, dumadating pa din sa point na meron argument. But maybe because of maturity, we stop for a while and drink water….and argue again. hehe. just kidding. 🙂
Seriously, ok lang naman to argue about money. Basta hindi mauuwi sa matinding away. Minsan nagkakaron din ng solusyon kapag may konting argumento. 😀
This is true.. couples must be open for alternative income like part time entrepreneurship, they were not made to be neglected. If we always do we’ve always done, we will always get what we’ve always got.