(Note: This is a true story.)
A friend paid a visit at your home and asked for your financial assistance because her child is in a grave medical condition and needs continuous medication. You immediately reached in for your pocket but you only have P500 when you pulled out your hand (wow, barya lang ang P500 ha 😉 ).
So you told your friend to wait in your salas (living room) and you will just withdraw P5,000 from your emergency fund alkansya (piggy bank). Of course, you wanted to show off to your friend that you are financially-prepared all the time because you are an entrepreneur, an investor and a saver.
And with tears from her eyes, she looked at you and said, “tatanawin ko itong malaking utang na loob sa ‘yo, ‘mare.” (“I will look over this one as a credit inside, sister.”)
Siempre, wrong grammar ‘yun.
The next day you decided to go window-shopping at the 2nd floor of the Rockwell Power Plant Mall right after your sponsored seminar in Ateneo. Just window-shopping.
And while looking over what’s happening on the ground floor’s cocktail event, you spotted someone familiar munching like a Senator with a kid at Cucina Victoria. Oh yes, it’s your crying kumare.
You wondered why. You wondered how. She’s enjoying a sumptuous early dinner/late lunch at Cucina Victoria while the last meal you had was last night in your own Kusina at home.
You wanted to tell yourself, “She’s got the guts to eat at a semi-expensive restaurant but couldn’t keep money for her child!? And the guts to borrow from me?”
How Would You React?
The most natural and most human response to this emphatic situation would be to look for your smartphone with your right hand inside your Greenhills-purchased bag 5 years ago.
You don’t want your eyes to stay away from your kumare while she makes subo (spoonfeed) to her child. You gotta need to call her and ask her why? Why did she not invite you over with her instead? Pa-drama, drama pa. Kakain lang pala sa Cucina.
But you quickly decide not to call her. It’s not the right time. Baka mabulunan (She might get choked).
So what’s the best thing to do?
1) Take a deep breath. Go home quickly. Drive safely. Or take the bus or cab like Jason Bourne. Take a look around first before stepping in.
2) Upon arriving home, pray. Pray that she won’t borrow again from you. Pray that you’ll have the strength to say “No” to her next time around. Pray that she’ll pay you back soon (para ikaw naman ang kakain sa Cucina).
3) Send her a concerned text message or a Facebook message telling her to take care of herself and her child. Tell her that you’re praying that your child will be well soon.
4) Who knows, it could be the child’s request to have a meal at Cucina. You don’t know the reasons behind why they were there in the first place. Someone could have given them a treat. Keep a cool head and be gentle to your heart.
5) No need to ask why she was at Cucina. That would be just too immature. Just tell her that you think you saw her at Rockwell but you weren’t sure if it was her that’s why you did not approach her. Tell her you want to hear more of her heartaches and financial burdens. Perhaps this is the right time for you to teach her to be wise on managing her finances. You’ll be surprised to learn more lessons with this kind of talk.
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That is the worst thing a person can do…. to borrow money (pretending in dire need) but was actually a one-day millionaire…
They really need guidance more than hating them. Nakakainis nga lang talaga. 😀
this is a great advise but I admit, it’s difficult to do. hehehehe. but I do agree that we need to give people benefit of the doubt if we do not know what’s really going on.
Oo. Malay naman natin, baka tinulungan sya nung may-ari o manager ng Cucina. 😛
Hi, Burn! I’ve been reading your blog for quite a while now. So far, your blog, fitz, randell and aya’s blog are my fave! It’s hard to turn your back to a friend who’s in need. I just hope that friends would understand that it’s not easy to earn money nowadays, it also requires strong discipline to learn how to save, but, I guess, it will require more patience to have a friend like her, lolz! Thanks for sharing this post! I wish you more success! 🙂
Salamat salamat @JoMi. It’s been over a year since this post at ngayon lang ako nakasagot. Hindi ko na sasabihin kung bakit, madaming excuses. 😛
Kung totoo tayong kaibigan, we will criticize her in a diplomatic and gentle way. Kurutin na lang hehe.
Really enjoyed your article. Sensible with a touch of humor in it 🙂
Salamat @Febrina at na-enjoy mo pagbasa ng article. Blessings to you! 🙂
Haha! Sorry to say this, but I know personally a co-teacher who did a similar thing with my another co-teacher. Has money for wants but not needs.
Sana maka-attend sila ng seminar namin para sa students and teachers. Anong school ba yan? 😛
It just happened to me yesterday. Kailangan natin maniwala na totoong may mga taong ganito.
Ano ang ginawa mo @Dee when you found out about it? 🙂
Also experience similar to that situation. Since bago pa lang ako sa Metro, nakitira muna ako sa friend ko. This friend is what I call “a big spender” pero di ko pa alam noong time na yun. One time, nanghiram siya ng pera kasi kulang daw ang sweldo niya. Ako naman since nakitira lang ako, nakisama din at pinahiram siya ng pera para wala siyang masabi. Kinagabihan di na umuwi, pumunta pala ng tagaytay.